Shake it baby

The past few days have been a little rough, and I have had my share of moments where I just break down and start crying. It feels weird to have someone my age and someone who I knew (and wasn't a family member) pass away and so I really didn't know how I was going to handle it. Well, I do now...I'm very emotional and I cry over everything.

Butttttttt on the brighter side, I was surfing the net tonight (instead of sleeping of course) and I happen to stumble upon the most awesome(est) thing ever...

Baby Do's and Don'ts.

ohemgee friends, if I ever have children....please someone buy me this book. I'm not even kidding. From the pictures, raising children can be super confusing and who knows the real right way to successfully raise a human being. Now take picture number uno for instance...

Calming baby. Yes: gently patting baby on the back to sooth and eventually have baby fall asleep. No: Serving baby gin (or your choice of alcoholic beverage).

And why not? Lots of people calm themselves down with beer/wine/gin/whatever so why not baby? I believe that a half milk and half rum bottle for baby would be the trick..and honestly, how do we know that baby doesn't want a little kick in their drink?

Picture number two:

Everyone loves to go shopping...so why not baby? I really don't trust those child seats in those shopping carts, especially if they have seat belts in them. Is baby driving somewhere?!?! Shouldn't baby be more involved with the shopping experience and be "hands-on" with what mommy or daddy is buying? besides, the inside of a shopping cart is probably more safe than that little itty bitty baby seat with a strap of death.

Picture three:

One of my favorites...

Every year parents spend too much money for babysitters who are probably just going to blow all that money on sex, drugs, and rock n roll. Please guys...lets reconsider. The bum (or hoebo) is obviously the better choice here. Think of it...just tell the guy if he wants to have his mcnuggets and mcsandwich and mcfries, then he better keep his mchands off the mcdvd player and keep his mceyes on the mcbaby or we'll call the mcpolice.

Simple logic I think

So in conclusion....I probably shouldn't bring people into this world..because they'll be drunk, shoppaholic, bum raised kids.

[NOTICE: i really don't believe any of this but thanks for playing]